Hammersmith Horror?

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The Hills Hoist is an Australian national icon. It featured in the closing ceremony of the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games, and inspired the nickname of an ex-pat rugby league team that stands in the way of Salford and the third round of this year’s Challenge Cup. But what the bloody hell is it? An extendable, rotary clothes line.

Hammersmith Hills Hoists are the reigning Southern Conference League champions, a title they have held for the past three years. But as they don’t play with the highest-tier amateur clubs in the north of England, we can only look at recent Challenge Cup ties to gauge how hard they might be.

The first thing that popped into the Bottom aficionados’ mind after the draw

They defeated the Royal Navy in Portsmouth in the previous round, who have held their own against notable amateur sides in recent cup campaigns. Last year, Hammersmith lost at home to Siddal 4–18; no disgrace give Siddal are one of the very best community clubs. Siddal then lost 0–46 at Midlands Hurricanes in the following round, previous to Salford meeting them in the third round. In 2024, Hammersmith reached the fourth round, eventually losing 4–50 at Halifax.

So, Salford will, despite all things considered, be expected to win in Chiswick (where Hammersmith are calling home). However, it’s so early in Salford’s new journey that a little anxiety is creeping in. A feeling of the unknown, that it’s the slippiest of slippery banana skins.